like a child

"and right now, the radios all that we can hear."

not at home now. can't deal being alone i guess. not tonight.

i'm going to pretend like i didn't see anything, pretend that i don't know anything, pretend that it doesn't hurt like fuck, pretend i'm not like play dough in his hands, pretend like i don't know who he's out with, pretend that nothing happened, pretend like i don't care, pretend that he doesn't exist.

cause he'll not be the one i want a text from. i'll try my best, to lose these feelings in the fastest way possible, in the most effective way i know how.

and i swore i would never be that pathetic, never ever again, and yet.. such a dog, you stupid bitch.

too bad i can't do headstands; maybe it'll stop these tears from falling.

movie tomorrow with ___________. lol i really don't know why i'm doing this to myself.

words spinning in my head, but i've no idea how to put them into words.

Roy once said, 'the reason why two people will last long is because either one of them will cling onto the other and not let go' or something like that.

well, perhaps now's the time huh? or perhaps it should've been ages ago.

still, a lot of things i want to say, like 'take care of yourself, save one dollar a day (and you'll $18250 at the end of 50 years), limit yourself when you gamble, go home earlier, spend more time with your family and do what you promise your mum, brush them properly, remember to check for your things and don't lose em especially in the arcades, iron your own uniform, don't drink too much, don't get caught smoking in camp, compare prices properly before you buy your weekly snacks, don't eat too much maggie mee, blahblahblah.'

yeah pointless, but still.then he'll normally tell me 'i know what to do lah'. though i guess it's good that he won't come here anymore.

and, i'm sorry.



xoxo,
i hate this part right here.

ps: look out for him, talk sense into him, be there for him, for me can? cause i can't anymore. (:thanks. nope, not big ego at all, if you know who you are. (: thank you, thank you.