what the fuck, is the only reaction i can get from the recent discovery. thoughts about relationships have been flittering around my mind; though pushed aside in a bid to 'not think too much'.
mabel calmed me down, after a long spiel of ranting (dang i need some good books), and i'd never want to think that way, so yes, i came straight to the point, and i'm expecting a straightforward answer, cause it's the least anyone can do. no?
perhaps you'd have your own reasons for doing so, but i'd never understand them. why you'd want to walk back into that path, or maybe it wasn't your intention, but hell, even the most trusting person would take it like that. and it's known that i don't trust guys too easily. yes, you.
it's nothing big, don't fret. just me being over-reactive and melodramatic about the whole non-issue that's going on. and dang it, why'd i have to see it when it was nearing only 1 am? i'd have to wait the whole night for an answer that could swing both ways; all i'm hoping for is a good explanation and a proper reassurance, like how i've been doing these days. (sleep could come yes, but would it come with peace?)
gut feelings never seemed too unaccurate, no matter how far off it seems to feel. cut yourself loose darling, said repeatedly for the umpteenth time. it's your own choice no matter what anyone says. the world could be against it, and yet you'd just cling on, cause your heart wants to.
and isn't that something almost everyone will feel? be it how that theory is applied.
alright, time for some photos:
and when i saw the photos, my heart broke for her. i swear, i could feel it falling apart slowly, and i felt the tears. tears she would shed after seeing them. on one hand i feel sad for her; it didn't have to be this way.
and yet at the same time, i feel happy. for him. cause he seems to be so happy now, and that's what i've always wanted. for the both of them to be happy. with or without each other.
to be truly loved, to truly love. who's to say who your love belongs to, who he/she truly are?
and it leads to one question. all but one, simple question. who's the right one for me? the one who makes you happy, or the one who gets you? guess it's like jacob and edward for bella.
if edward didn't appear, jacob and bella could be perfectly happy together, cause they just.... are. comfortable with each other, and they love each other too. but there wouldn't be any other scale to measure that love with, cause there wouldn't be anyone else who could even remotely make bella feel that way.
without edward, bella might have just gotten together with jacob, and in time to come, have settled down with him. but with edward in the picture, it's a whole new ball game altogether. on a much larger scale in which to measure her love with, bella found that nothing could be compared to what she had with edward.
what i'm trying to say is, there might always be someone out there for you, that's better for you then whoever you are with. whomever you declare your love for, there might be someone who could make you really feel it the way you should.
but then again, maybe you've already found that person; but who's to tell if he/she is the one?
reminds me of ghost whisperer; when jennifer love hewitt told her husband reincarnated in another body(and suffers from memory loss so that he doesn't remember her, or anyone else and thinks he's in love with his long lost ex-fiancee), to hold out. to hold out for everything. in which everything meant someone better/ the right one for him. in which case she was obviously referring to herself, but that doesn't matter.
point is, when do you decided to hold out? or when will you know not to? alright i'm getting rather lengthy here, as usual.
i'll bet no one managed to read it this far; these thoughts are just some of what i have to get off my chest, which turned into a totally lengthy and thorough description of what i feel.
at least some time has passed. but i'm feeling kind of sleepy.
more photos up in the next post or so, we'll see.
not in the mood for smileys, so none for you.
on the bright side, at least my pms-y mood is gone, and it's nearing five to six soon. not in the mood for exclaimation points either.
-..-
'ta darlings.
xoxo
to look from the other side;
the grass always seems greener.
ps: the most basic things that i need. remember them clearly, remember them dearly.
pps: i have territorial instincts.
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